Holiday Cheer-leader!

“All is not Merry and Bright.”

Do you dread the holiday season? Does it feel like when November happens it is time to get back on that roller coaster again.  Are you buzzing around prepping, cleaning, gifting, guilting, avoiding rather than pausing, reflecting and being joyful for the magic of this time of year.  

According to Consumer Affairs, 61% of Americans dread the holidays. Not just one year, every year!  What would your life be like if you welcomed and enjoyed the holiday season?

“I act like I’m fine.  Everyone thinks I’m okay, yet when I slow down the tears start to fall.”

For me, I dreaded them for over 10 years.  I had this amazing family, and then my husband had this stressful 5 year ongoing battle with brain cancer that he finally lost...and I was widowed with 5 kids to take care of. The holidays became a time of dread, pain, guilt and a reminder of loss. I faked my way through the holidays.  I wanted my kids, family and friends to be convinced that I was ok. I decked the frickin halls, over spent, over indulged, put on my party dress and recited to myself, “Ho Ho Holy shit, when will this be over?”   

How about you?  

Are past feelings, pain and loss resurfacing and magnified during the holidays?

Do you feel forced to keep the traditions of the past, even though you are wanting to move forward?

Do you find yourself dreading or merely surviving the holidays?

Do you miss who you used to be?

Do you avoid certain situations or people?

What is this costing you?  Your health?  Your happiness?  Your family?

“Putting yourself first, is not selfish.  It is quite the opposite.  You must put your happiness and health first before you can be of help to anyone else.”   Simon Sinek

Do you believe that holidays can be a source of celebration, joy and hope?  I do now - I learned to break the pattern with steps

News Flash! 2021 is the mother of all uncertainty.  We don’t know what the holidays will hold.  With covid, elections, social distancing, limited travel, restrictions - what will your holiday look like.  Thanksgiving is just round one - then you have Christmas or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah and by the time New Years Eve comes around you are hiding in the bathroom in a Red Lodge, Montana bar avoiding creepy men wanting to kiss you - oh wait, that was me in college in the 80's.  Any who,  the point is that we are headed into a marathon of emotions that will surround this holiday like no other.  

“Nothing that has happened in your past can stop you from planning a magical future in your present.”

If so, You need to start Thriving NOW!  

What would it mean for you to….

• Break the pattern of merely surviving through the holiday season
• Gain confidence in yourself and your voice
• Find truth and peace in your past then set intentions now and in the future
• Be able to communicate with a loved one in a tough conversation 
• Trust yourself and be able to speak up and ask for what you want and need.
• Learn how to honor your past yet let go of certain traditions, family expectations and assumptions that are no longer serving you.
• Believe you are worthy and learn to be yourself

Truthfully, these are the keys to not only a joyful holiday, but a joyful life. Would you like to know more about claiming your holidays, life and happiness you deserve?  Here are a few tips to help now:

• Decide how you want to feel throughout the holidays.  
• Assertively tell family members what you need this year.  "I need calm and comfort this year."  Get in the habit of telling, not asking.
• Treat yourself with gentleness, grace and respect.  Stay at YOUR pace.
• Simplify gift giving.  Suggest an alternative to gifts this year such as a letter exchange, book exchange, gag-gifts, donate to a charity, etc.  
• Be prepared for others to be disappointed in your holiday choices.  That is ok and it isn't your responsility how others feel.  Focus on YOUR needs.
• Choose play, laughter and fun this year.  Watch funny movies, read a cheerful book, call old friends that you always had fun.  Bring the JOY this way.
• Put goal setting and 2021 plans on the back burner.  Just be.
• Become aware of at least 10 things in a day that bring you joy or comfort.  The simple smell of your coffee, clean sheets, sunshine warming your face, etc.
• Remember that love and sadness go together.  The memories in life are your greatest holiday gift!

Cheers,

Kathi